Leadership mindset: Winning the confidence game

By Mark Jones

Every presentation, pitch, and conversation is all about the confidence game.

Why? Because confidence shapes perception. It determines whether people trust you, follow you, and believe in your ideas.

But the real question for leaders is Where does your confidence come from? Is it grounded in experience and preparation, or are you just faking it ‘til you make it?

The truth is leadership often feels like uncharted territory. We’re making decisions with incomplete information, speaking to unfamiliar audiences, and navigating constant change. On our best days, we lean on hard-won wisdom. On the tough days, we wonder if we’re making it up as we go.

For those of us responsible for storytelling and communication, this challenge is amplified. Every message matters. Every audience is different. And that means confidence isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s a strategic asset.

Recently, I coached a senior executive who had all the skills but still hesitated before presenting. The problem wasn’t ability. It was the story they were telling themselves.

So here are three practical tips that will make a difference.

1. Embrace the confidence game

When you freeze, stumble, or hold back, remind yourself it’s rarely about capability. It’s your brain whispering: “Danger!”

We’ve all got an inner critic who pops up and feeds on the adrenaline rush. It says things like:

• “I’m not prepared.”

• “I can’t do this.”

• “I’m the wrong person for the job.”

But here’s the truth: your inner critic voice is just a story. And stories can be rewritten. And the way you rewrite that story is by flipping the script. Look for the empowering opposite idea:

• “I’ve prepared enough.”

• “I can learn by doing.”

• “I’m here because I have something valuable to share.”

Sure, confidence grows with experience, but it all starts with the story you tell yourself.

2. Confidence ≠ Perfection

Up next, remind yourself confidence isn’t about being flawless. It’s about choosing which story you believe.

We’ve all stood in front of a client, a boardroom, or a team, convinced we’re not ready. That inner voice? It’s not reporting facts, it’s running an old script.

Here’s the paradox: feeling unprepared often means you’re growing and you care about this moment. Your brain only yells “Danger!” when you’re stepping outside your comfort zone.

So try this flip:

❌ “I can’t do this.”

✅ “I’m learning how to do this.”

This is something we discuss in my coaching program, Flip the Script: every confident communicator you admire once told themselves the opposite.

3. Rewriting your story in action

Most professionals don’t fail because they lack the necessary skills. They fail because of the story in their head.

Think about these quick examples:

• A marketer holds back in a pitch → “They’ll think my idea is dumb.”

• A tech leader avoids presenting → “I’m not as polished as others.”

• A manager stays quiet → “I don’t have the right words.”

Each one is a limiting belief masquerading as truth.

My new book is out soon, and I talk about the fact every limiting belief has an equal and opposite empowering belief.

Example:

❌ “I’m not prepared.”

✅ “I’ve prepared more than enough.”

So take this to the stage or your next meeting: confidence isn’t luck. It’s practice – rewriting your story again and again until it sticks.

Your Move

Confidence is a leadership multiplier. It shapes how others see you –and how you see yourself. Start by rewriting one story today.

👉 What’s one story you want to flip this week?

Feeling burnt out?

Burnout is a very real, shared human experience right now. Maybe things look good on the outside, but on the inside,

• You feel burned out and exhausted

• Your inner critic says, 'You're just faking it!'

• You feel stuck or at a crossroads in your career

Join a 4-week peer-based executive coaching program - September and October places still available, $995

I’ve created a neuroscience-informed process that shifts your identity, not just your habits, with a proven framework for rewriting your story based on decades as a Financial Review editor, brand strategist and master storyteller, author, CEO and Certified Professional Speaker (CSP).

Ready to FLIP the SCRIPT and re-fuel your energy?

Onwards!

Mark

Hey, you got to the end! Nice work.

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